This question is addressed often behind the doors of our home. Life just brought us together. But, why? People can get into the “coulda, woulda, shoulda talk” and get stuck. We address the big statements like “Life would have been better if…” or “I think I would be different if…..”, as well as little drama, like losing my favorite toy, bad hair days, sibling fights, etc. that make the kids feel like their life is forever ruined, BUT is it really? I’m no psychiatrist, but it doesn’t feel healthy to always feel that choice or a circumstance was the worst thing EVER. Anything could be worst or better, but it’s not either. God promises that all things work together for the good. Everything and everyone has a purpose. I think it is important to communicate love, encouraging words and sacrificial actions for children so that they can understand they have a sense of purpose. They are where they are, because God planned it that way. Deliberately tell them. Groom their sense of purpose. They are not any less of what they “coulda, woulda shoulda” been, because of their circumstances or choices. I am a strong believer in divine intervention and connections. Everyone you come in contact with in your life is there for a reason, whether it is for a lesson or a blessing. (I prefer the blessing kind, because some lessons are hard and brutal, but nonetheless necessary.)
Children are born with a sense of purpose, but it takes a little trial and error and several experiences to find it. In our home, we jungle between several of the kids’ after school activities, including basketball, t-ball, dance, track and field, acting, football, debate team, school plays and other activities that come and go. (Thank you shared Google calendar!! Love that function!) We encourage them to find something to be committed to and learn to balance. We support the development in their skills. It’s not so much the skill we are concerned about, but the sense of achievement in that area that they like or at least tried. The time commitment is difficult, but it is an investment in their lives. Who is on this new team or club that will be an instrumental lesson or blessing in their lives? A step closer to discovering their purpose. Learning to accept their path as the plan. Even if there were other “coulda, woulda, shoulda” scenarios or possibilities for life, show them that they can choose to be happy now!